So this blogging lark is not as easy as everyone makes out. I thought it would be a simple case of turn up, make the odd witty – possibly sardonic if I was feeling daring – comment on some topical issue or other, or peel off a quick anecdote about something interesting that’s happening in my life, click publish and Bob would be my uncle. It turns out I was wrong.
In the case of the former, I simply don’t have the cahoonas. It’s annoying but there it is. Such work is handled more than competently by the Marina Hydes, Caitlin Morans and Grace Dents of this world and they will guard it and bring it every time, bigger, better and bolder than you ever could. Is what I said to myself as I worked through some dialogue between made-up characters in my inconsequential work of fiction.
Which leaves my life and the interesting things that happen in it. Interesting, you say. Hmm. Interesting. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t completely live in a vacuum, interesting things do happen in my life (honestly they do, justify, justify…). I just find it hard to believe that anyone outside of my head will find 99.9% of the things that I consider interesting remotely so. And I’m pretty dubious about the remaining 0.1% if I’m honest.
Let’s say something breaks or goes wrong, or one of the dogs does something funny or a stranger turns up at the door and I can’t get rid or I meet Michael Bublé on a night out and for some unfathomable reason find myself unable to ask for a photo with him or in fact speak properly at all for example. Whatever, something takes place which ignites the tiniest spark in my head and I’ll think up a sentence or a blog entry that I’m pretty sure will at least trigger an eyebrow raise of the interested variety. Later on I’ll come to type it up and suddenly I can’t for the life of me remember what possessed me to even give thought to such dullitude. I just made that word up.
I’m just relieved I haven’t told anyone about this blog yet. Apart from the agents I’ve approached asking for representation for the novel I’ve written. Yes, just the very people on whom I want to make the best possible impression with my ability to write.
Aah. This could get interesting.